Humility and Conversations

We can't move forward like this

This election cycle I did not post very many things on my personal Facebook page. I didn’t comment on most Facebook pages that belonged to my friends/acquaintances. Over the last three years, I have come to know people on both sides of the proverbial aisle while fighting development in the city. Local politics find us “purple” as we are looking at zoning issues, planning issues, parks, events, and property taxes.

Since 2007, I have been a small government, conservative libertarian. Some of you might have known this, some of you might not have. Let you in on another secret, I have a masters degree in education, expired teaching licenses in two states, a degree in psychology, and am writing for a local magazine. Generally I keep my educational pedigree quiet. In fact, I’ve kept my education to myself since I started homeschooling in 2007.

Why? The country has gotten more and more “expert” based. That was already coming, but really took off in 2020 and 2021. The last thing I wanted to be in the homeschooling world was an “expert.” I believe anyone that loves their children and can read, can school their children. Classroom teachers need other skills, like classroom management and the ability to communicate with parents. With the explosion of the internet, co-ops, tutors, etc, anyone can homeschool.

In 2020 and 2021, the “experts” told us to wear masks, stay 6 feet apart, don’t gather for Christmas, and take this med if you want to keep your job. My Marine had a HARD choice. He was forced to take that med or be discharged. He had just finished boot camp. He took the med. We lost 186 days of work in 2021. The govt gave a LOT of money to schools, counties, and corporations. We got a little, and the next “little” that we got was a loan. That loan came due this month. During this time we had friends, neighbors, and unknowns wish us death for not choosing the med, or a mask. Even further, people we knew were advocating for everyone to “stay home, stay safe.” They were teachers, who still got paid. They were retired, who still got paid. They were celebrities, who could weather the storm. We watched companies we worked for disappear. We lost work. We lived on some of the money from the sale of our home, and our credit cards. We started our business in 2014 from nothing, we had finally made it in 2019, and the rug was pulled out in 2020. Our income is back to 2019 levels, but our out-go is much higher. Our home owners insurance is up. Our car insurance is up. Our health insurance is going up in January. My grocery bill is up. (I had 3 kids move out too) My fuel is up. Our business fuel is up. We aren’t making it. For the first time in 20 years, I am looking for a job.

Since 2008, we have been called teabaggers, racists, homophobes, and islamophobes. In the last few years they have added misogynists and transphobes. My Marine pays for his uniforms while Zelensky flies around the globe to beg for my tax dollars, which he was so graciously given by the current administration.

Covid made me angry. It is still hard to talk about it. The last four years have been ROUGH. The vote last week for many of us was about this anger. We voted against our businesses shutting down, our schools shutting down, Pfizer making billions, inflation, money to Ukraine, being gaslit that inflation is down while we are struggling. No one listened. We were screaming, and then we were silent. Our voices were shouted down on campuses. People we listened to were not allowed to speak in public. We were throttled online and “screamed” at on Facebook. Any injuries from the Covid meds were hidden. We went silent, and then we voted. We voted red.

Stay with me, this is NOT a pro republican rant. I am nearly as disgusted with the republicans as I am with the democrats. My state rep is a tool for big pharma, and our U.S. rep had his portfolio make the most amount of money out of any of them in DC. Not impressed. All that being said, I want to show you what happened this week.

A woman I have come to know from city business posted this online. I am not going to use her name, and I will type out the conversation because I am not going to call out her or her friends. She posted the scripture from the UMC, but her name is not in this.

One question was posted from me. “Do you really believe I am evil? Her response went through the Hollywood Access tape, mocking a reporter with a disability, J6, stealing from a children’s fund, calling for Liz Cheney to be in front of a firing squad, his “love affair with Putin,” It went on to include some history of Hitler, how Trump wanted “generals like Hitler’s,” this is a dark point in history, people of LGBTQ are afraid, and Trump is evil and now he’s president. This was my response, I’m really trying here.

I believe in small government and letting people live their lives as they choose. I believe abortion, if necessary, should be safe and rare, not shouted. I believe men do not belong in women’s bathrooms or belong in women’s sports. I believe our food is poison compared to the same products in Europe. I believe that we don’t belong in foreign wars. I believe my Marine son should not have to pay for his food and uniforms while we send billions to Ukraine. My hope is that Trump and his team clean up the regulations that are crushing small businesses like mine. That’s what I voted for.

One of her friends responded with this.

I am a retired OB nurse. Mark my word there will be many young women who are going to die as a result of RvW being overturned. What you are saying you voted for is actually called racism. My faith teaches me God does not make junk and this party seeks to purge our country of those who God made different. I am the daughter of a retired Navy CPO I truly appreciate your son’s service, but if you think someone who got out of serving his country by having a dr. write a note about heel spurs then you are going to be disappointed. How could you vote for a man that called John McCain a loser because he was a POW. With Kennedy as the new leader in health we will see polio, measles, snd so many childhood diseases return that are lethal to some. I truly pray God guided the votes of this country but then again did God guid the election of Hitler May God Bless our country.

Another comment just stated “Our freedoms are gone.” When I asked which ones specifically, no answer.

My response:

Most of us are tired of being called racists for disagreeing with policy. Roe V Wade went to the states. It is NOT in the US constitution, therefore it is a 10th amendment issue, where it belongs. Where your side lost is “shout your abortion.” Women are terrified of being mothers. They would rather abort than give up college, or a job, or fun. Christians dropped the ball on that one. God does not make mistakes, ie you are not born in the wrong body. I did not vote for Trump the man, I voted for the team he is putting together. Please read my post above. If the presidency is so powerful that the people are afraid of what either side will do, it’s time to fix that and return to the constitution.

This is what I was met with:

I burned my nice words last night. You are HIGHLY ill-informed. And if you are not ignorant then yes, you are a racist. People who fully understand the reality of Trump’s intentions, his past, and the people who surround him but still voted for him are bigots. Re: “the team he is putting together” Do you even know who Stephen Miller is?

I responded kindly, but was told that I can’t be reasoned with. I was then insulted for my grammar for this sentence, “That’s where I, and many people like me, are at.” I was then blocked and unfriended. This woman was shocked that I had never posted on her page before and that I had come to start ugly conversations. I did later make a joke, not off color, but making fun of the grammar police. All of my other statements and one other woman’s statements were about policy. Neither of us defended Trump the man.

This went up later. Followed by- The first line here was -I deleted the many

Another friend posted this….

Notice the language, “disgusting waste of a human.” I had a conversation with a Satanist this week where I vowed to defend his right to practice whatever religion he wants and to say what ever he wants. I vowed to tolerate him. When he said you sound like you think you are superior to me, I said YES, now you get it. I think Satanists are silly and are making a terrible decision. However, they are still human, not a “disgusting waste of a human.” He deserves as much dignity as I do. He deserves the same rights to life and liberty as I do.

I shared all of this today, because we have a HUGE divide. Honestly, I do not know how it gets mended. Even after my anger about Covid, even after watching her hateful posts about Trump and Trump supporters all summer, I reached out. My olive branch was lit on fire. What do we do here friends?

Part of me wants to celebrate and laugh and give the middle finger to everyone who wished us dead and tried to put us and others out of business. That’s not who I am, and that’s not who we are as Americans. We are the people that showed up in North Carolina before the government did. We are the people that fill the blessing boxes. We are the people that look for angel trees at Christmas. We are the people that fight for someone’s right to say stupid things. We need to be those people.

In writing this, I may have lost some of you. If that’s the case, I am truly sorry. This was not written to offend it was written to warn. We all need to do some deep reflection and figure out why the government has us fighting each other. The government should fear the people, and not the other way around. It’s time we become the people.